Thank you, Habi

It’s three o’clock in the afternoon on a Wednesday and I am nowhere near my workplace, unburdened by work and all the pressure that comes with it – earning money, dealing with difficult colleagues, and just the everyday feat of waking up early and getting by with the humdrum of maintaining a job. Instead, I am sitting on a cozy chair in one of my favorite places with not a single care in the world except the amount of caffeine that my chocolate shake contains.

As I look at the people around me, I wonder if they are as grateful as I am to be here. I wonder if they feel as much profound gratitude as I do for just being here and not anywhere else. Perhaps they do. But as I ponder this, I am feeling quite smug that I am one of the very lucky few who really do have a lot of things to be thankful for.

Thank you, Habi.
Thank you for working extra extra hard so that I can afford to sit on my bum all day and not worry about a thing in the world.

I know that you speak lightly of your difficulties at work but when I look at your tired eyes at the end of the day, I see how hard you try to endure the rigors and grimness of working in a foreign country. I know that no matter how much you enjoy your work, I also know how hard you put up with the stress of working with different people, in every sense of the word.

I know that you speak lightly of your worries of supporting a family but when I look at your concerned eyes when you analyze our bank account, I see that there isn’t a single day that you don’t worry about providing for your family especially now that our little precious is arriving soon. I didn’t tell you but I almost cried when I saw you researching about dog-walking jobs to do on your spare time. How can you even think about dog-walking when your rubber shoes are so old they look like they’re almost decaying (and you’re too self-sacrificing to buy new ones)?

Thank you for all that and more. It has only been a year and a few months since you have ‘pledged your dedication to our family’s welfare’ and you sure have done good on your word.

And while we’re on the subject...
Thank you for making all the appropriate yummy noises when I serve you dinner.
Thank you for not saying anything when you find that you have no ironed shirt to wear.
Thank you for not saying anything when you find that your ‘ironed’ shirts don’t look at all ironed.
Thank you for buying me cakes and chocolates in the middle of the night.
Thank you for offering to buy me the Ikea apple-corer because you knew that it’d make me happy.
Thank you for coming along to every prenatal check-up not because you feel obligated but because you truly want to be with me.
Thank you for putting up with my whining and then saying all the right things to make me feel better. “To everything, there is a season. Remember how happy we were when we were given our gift? The long wait must be terrible on you. But it won’t be long now and we’ll get to hold our bundle of joy. Even though I’m at work, I’m basically alone too. But I find strength in coming home at day’s end...”

Thank you, mahal. It has only been a year and a few months since you have declared your promise of ‘love and fidelity’ and you sure have done good on your word.

If you as a husband is any indication of you as a father, then I truly believe that a lot is in store for Annika and me to be grateful for.

Halfway There!

In a hospital cafeteria, a couple is enjoying their lunch immensely. Now, what kind of people sincerely enjoy hospital food?!

The disgustingly happy kind, that’s what.

The woman is in deep reverie, already planning her daughter’s baptism.
The man is in tears, already singing ‘Butterfly Kisses’ in his head for his daughter’s wedding.

Yes, they’re having a girl! And more importantly, the 20-week detailed scan showed the baby to be healthy and normal! She’s now measuring 10 inches and weighs around 320 grams.

Nuchal Translucency Scan

Crown-rump Length: 64.5mm
Gestational Age: 12 weeks + 5 days
EDD by scan: August 31, 2008
Nuchal Translucency: 1.9mm
Fetal anatomy:
Nasal bone: present; Skull/brain: appears normal; Hands: both visible; Feet: both visible

Trisomy 21 (Down’s Syndrome) Adjusted Risk – 1:2548 *
Trisomy 18 (Edward’s Syndrome) + 13 (Patau’s Syndrome) – 1:8739 *
* high risk: >=1:300

Translation: Baby appears to be normal. No further invasive tests needed.

Once again, the power of prayer prevails.

Can we stop holding our breaths now?

End of First Trimester: Keeping Anxiety at Bay Part 2

This morning’s prenatal check-up was supposed to be the appointment of all appointments that will put a stop to my anxiety. You see, today was the end of my first trimester and all of my books say that once you reach this milestone, the miscarriage rates went down significantly. As in way down. In fact, studies have shown that 95% of all miscarriages occur in the first trimester. That should have made me feel better, right?

Wrong.

We saw our baby all right. Her heart was beating well and good. Her size was just perfect for her gestational age. But why did the sonographer’s attention stay a second too long on some mundane measurement such as the thickness of the skin on her nape? If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought that it was standard procedure to measure that little amount of skin more than once. But to my dismay, I did know better. I knew that something was not quite right with my baby.

True enough, at the doctor’s office we were told that there was the possibility that our baby could have a chromosomal abnormality like Down Syndrome because of the apparent thickness of skin of the back of her neck. To rule it out, we must do more tests. Nuchal translucency scan was scheduled for Friday.

According to the pamphlet given by the doctor, the scan is just a more detailed ultrasound scan that entails a careful examination of the nuchal translucency (thickness of the back of the baby’s neck skin due to the amount of fluid in this layer) and the presence or absence of a nasal bone. Thickened nuchal translucency and the absence of the nasal bone present a higher risk of chromosomal defects.

I thought seeing my baby’s heart beat today will end all my worrying.
But a realization hit me: mothers don’t ever stop worrying, do they?

CRL: 52mm, 11.8 weeks
Corrected EDD: September 2, 2008
GS: 48mm x 61mm x 55mm
Ave. Sac Diameter: 54.7mm
Shape: Normal

My Cup Runneth Over

I know I'm only on my 9th week but I swear, my cup runneth over!

And I mean this literally!

My measly almost-B cup perkies are now a whopping C and they are spilling over my old bras! Not much difference yet, I know, but my husband is puhleased!

In more important news, I had another prenatal checkup and ultrasound scan yesterday where the doctor assured us that baby is doing fine and then we were handed our baby's first official photo in utero!

CRL: 22mm, 8.9 weeks
Corrected EDD: September 1, 2008
GS: 48mm x 41mm x 29mm
Ave. Sac Diameter: 39.3mm
Shape: Normal

Keeping Anxiety At Bay

Just when I was starting to soak up the reality of our wonderful blessing, something happened to gently remind us that this wasn’t something that we could do on our own, that we must continue to pray.

I spotted blood for three days. And boy did I pray.

After reading tons of books on ‘implantation bleeding’ and realizing that any spotting that started 17 days post-ovulation was too late to be called such, we rushed to the hospital and had an unfriendly sonographer poke something hard and long into my insides. After what seemed like forever, two words screamed silently at us from the ultrasound scan report: EMPTY UTERUS.

The next several days proved to be the worst days of my life. The hardest part was that I knew too much about what can go wrong. I knew that more than 20% of all pregnancies result in miscarriage. I knew that this could be a chemical pregnancy where the egg was fertilized but didn’t implant or it could very well be an ectopic pregnancy where the fertilized egg implanted but nowhere in the vicinity of the uterus where it should be. And to add to all that, I knew that PCOS patients have a higher-than-normal miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy rates. It was the first time that I hated being well-informed on a subject. All that kept me going were three things: my unflagging faith in Him up there, the love and support of my wonderful husband who held my hand every step of the way, and three months’ supply of progesterone tablets.

But once again, our prayers were mercifully answered. We went for another scan where we saw the tiniest of hearts beating away. My pregnancy was pronounced viable.

Now, if I could just keep this anxiety at bay and not think about the million ways where it can go wrong. After all, it’s really not about me anymore. It’s about a whole new life that I am just 'helping' to create. So the faster I overcome this self-absorbed paranoia and really start to wallow in this glorious happiness that is just brimming to the surface, the better.

Spreading the Good News Part 2

After recovering from my state of deliriousness, I found time to fulfill my fantasy of spreading the news in style. And so to comply with the way I once told my friends about an unforgettable event in our lives, I wrote this:

Christmas miracle, Filipino couple in
amazement

SINGAPORE: After barely a month since they celebrated their first year anniversary, a lovely Filipino couple is now expecting their first baby. It is believed that the conception occurred sometime around Immaculate Conception--between the 7th and 10th of December of this year, making Mrs. Sexy four weeks and one day knocked up.

Mrs. Sexy, upon discovering two lines on the pregnancy test kit on Christmas morning, woke her husband at 6:30 in the morning who, in his initial shock, almost jumped up and dialled wambadu, wambadu, wambadu.

After consulting with online due date calculators, it has been ascertained that the baby is due on the first week of September 2008.

Mr. and Mrs. Sexy are still in stunned amazement, but they are thankful for the best Christmas gift they have ever received. They believe that this blessing is the perfect cherry to top off their first year of marriage. Despite their misfortune earlier this year (for new members and for those who want to refresh their memories, please turn to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/merlionfamily/message/490
for related story), they consider this year, hands down, the best year of their
lives to date.

Soon-to-be grandparents have been informed and tears have flowed over phone calls and YM chats. The soon-to-be-parents are now in the process of reading all the books that they can get their hands on while waiting for their first prenatal appointment.

The cautiously optimistic couple greatly anticipates the warm welcome that the MerlionFamily will show to its newest and youngest member.

Schedule for the baby shower will be announced second quarter of 2008. For the meantime, prayers for a healthy pregnancy will be greatly appreciated.